Oh boy...

...has it been a while since my last post. In the interim I've started several, but all seemed to be lacking the gusto of full formulation. Topics I thought about ranged the gamut: the ever-present lesbian drama, why we dont listen to our friends' advice, a thanksgiving inspired nod to that which I'm thankful for, heartache, and the high expectations I have for the people I surround myself with. Clearly with the changing of the seasons I've shifted towards deep introspection. Maybe it's that winter makes me think of my grandpa (we lost him new years day of 2004), which in turn makes me think about bigger-picture reflective type things. Regardless, it's the end of December, and with Christmas bearing down, I've noticed a significant change from years past.
Which is, I'm realizing the importance of focusing on myself these upcoming weeks. My job awards me the opportunity to have quite a bit of time off, and rather than rushing around to try to see friends and family or pouring myself into a current relationship, I'm making an effort to reflect on my needs and desires for the upcoming year. Maybe it's a selfish thing to do in the season of giving, but sometimes the neccessity of things outweighs their timing.
Ms. Karen bought me a fanciful, fabulous, eccentric book about personal style which I am absolutely loving. I took a personality test that rang so true, it was spooky. I got back in touch with a tattoo artist who is really excited about some of the ideas I've had for my next large piece. I'm acutely aware of my value and what I bring to others, and my self-confidence is (surprisingly) stronger than it has been in years. I'm taking pleasure in learning more about myself, and deciding who I want to be (I am always evolving, but it's been a while since my last major overhaul - I sense one coming).
Maybe that's what this actually comes down to. I'm realizing that things have been way too stagnant for my liking for quite some time now, and I'm excited at the potential I have to change and create and enjoy everyday.
So pardon me, while I toast myself New Year's Eve. Resolutions aren't even the start of it :)