Fairing

There are few things more endearing than someone you love being truly excited about something. Particularly if it's something you can share with them somehow. Catching your girlfriend touching the necklace you bought her, or seeing your sister smile as she takes the first bite of the cupcakes she asked for, is really nice (and yes, it took me a while to settle on the word nice).

Seeing someone be genuinely excited is like a special glimpse into their psyche, I think. We're adults, and excitement is something usually reserved for children. We are too jaded to experience wonder and awe. Our excitement is supposed to be contained.

And yet, in relationships, many people want someone who they can "be silly with." My lesbian association here brings me to Ani's "two little girls." I've always felt that when I am happiest with a woman, it has been when we exemplified this: two LITTLE girls. Playing and being silly and acting cute.

Does this mean we are conforming to societal mandates that sexualize young girls, or encourage women to 'dumb themselves down'? I dont think so. I think it has more to do with resisting heteronormative expectations by pairing with a woman, and in sharing that resistance with her, feeling safe within that bond to be free to regress a bit. It's in our own space, on our own terms.

Particularly with the women I am attracted to, the responsible, grounded type, it's such a treat to catch those glimpses of child-like excitement. With T, there are two things in particular I think of: magic snow and the Topsfield Fair. Magic snow is a phenomonon I would not do justice to describe, so you can ask her about it if you care to. And the Topsfield Fair? Well that's one part oversized vegetables, three parts delicious food, two parts adorable bright-eyed and bushy tailed bunnies, one part racing pigs, plus a dash of much, much more. I love sharing the Topsfield Fair with T, because it's an important tradition to her, and her excitement is palpable and honest. And guess what? It starts this weekend!

I adore fairs in general. I grew up in Oxford, CT, which has a strong agricultural history, and those roots shine through in me when it comes to things like this. My family used to go the Big E every year. Plus, I love the fall (I will try to write a post without making that statement at some point), so the wood and comforting spices and harvest-bounty and earth and crispness of the air put me in great spirits. I myself am plenty excited to go to the Topsfield Fair, even if I dont get to witness T experiencing it (somebody doesnt know if I'm deserving to go with her, haha). I think I would also like to maybe check out King Richard's Faire too. So now all I need is a few lovely ladies to share in the excitement with me. Who's in?

Fall and Friends

This morning my boss forwarded me an email from her husband that had both of us choking up. Bruce, her hubby, is definitely what one would term a “man’s man.” He’s a fantastic all-around guy, who also apparently sends out a quote w/ comments to people he’s close to every Friday:

“The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately, without growing apart” Elisabeth Foley

This morning as I was pulling into the parking lot, I noticed this elderly man walking through the lot heading into the field next to my office for a walk with his dog. I have seen this man before this, usually on Friday mornings walking through the cemetery near the campus. As I was getting out of my truck, I said good morning to him. With an enthusiastic tone he replied, “yes, it is a wonderful morning isn’t it!” You all know me by now and how I love to talk to people so I took this as my opportunity J. So I said, “sir, I’ve noticed you walking through the cemetery on Friday mornings before. Can I ask why only on Friday’s?” "Sure" he said, as if he had something to tell me. "I come here every Friday to visit my wife up on the hill, then I come down here to visit my life-long buddy. We were in three wars together you know." So now I’m chocking back the tears and have a lump in my throat the size of a baseball. We talked for about ten minutes and I asked him what advice he would give to younger folks as we grow older. "Well, Bruce, (we exchanged names…his name is John) we don't always have control over our health, or even our wealth. But we have control of keeping in touch with our friends. So, I would have to say, stay in touch. Whether you're sick or poor, healthy or wealthy, you can always stay in touch." I thanked him and we shook hands and wished each other a good day.

Don’t let life get in the way. Remember, friendship isn’t one big thing…it’s a million little things.

Until next week…

L…L…L

Bruce

Fall is my favorite season, and to me, it comes with a sense of renewal (must have something to do with school starting – I wear my nerdiness as a badge of honor, thank you!). Perhaps the energizing change of season has had an effect on my interpersonal relations, because I’ve definitely felt compelled to reach out and reconnect with the people around me who may have gotten lost during the summer (summer is a selfish time, I’m fairly certain). So this email came at just the right time. Fate has a funny way of doing that to us, doesn’t it? :-)

XoX

Bex