The Comfort of Objects

When I am angry or upset, I vent (a lot) to others. But when I am sad, like many people, I become introverted. I regress in a way, at least in terms of the things I'm drawn to. It's very apparent to me that I am comforted by dependability, which is interesting in that, while it's a quality I am very much attracted to (I think I'm seeking balance), it isnt one I would immediately assign to myself.

Comfort Clothes:
T knew I was a bit down, so she brought me her long sleeve high school t-shirt that I told her I had been thinking about a day or two before.
Me: this shirt is nice
T: is it making you happy?
Me: comforted
T: good. that's what i hoped
Me: :-)
In thinking about the clothing that can be found in my closet and drawers, there is a stark disparity between old and new. What immediately comes to mind are the items that i've purchased within the past year or so, and there is a general feeling of excitement around them ("I am a material girl" much?). But it is the others that are more constant, that hold special meaning. The t-shirts acquired (stolen? never!) from friends and lovers. The favorite jeans. These things have memories, they are soft and worn and familiar, and we all have them. I admittedly have an affinity for clothing shopping, but when it comes down to it, the clothing that is most valuable to me are the things I wear to bed.

Comfort Foods:
I could eat soup every day. And now that it is officially fall, I have no qualms about doing so. Soup has always made me think of my grandmother (perhaps because, for several years of my life, she made me chicken soup to bring to school in my thermos every day). T used to spend hours making soup, too, only to barely eat one bowl of it - I would down the rest of it for every meal in the days after. Comfort food has gotten me into trouble before (30 lbs of trouble!) but there's a reason it's called that - it's so damn good. And of the comfort foods I could choose, I feel like soup is a pretty good one overall (unless it comes from a can. yuck.).

Comfort Music:
It's funny how music I typically think of myself as being "over" - because I'm so forward-thinking, hip, and judgemental in that way (wait a minute, I live in Brighton, not Allston) - namely DMB and Ani, are the first things I turn to when I'm in a funk. I think it has a lot to do with how moved I was when I discovered those artists (because when you're 14, discovering music is like discovering your true self, and Dave and Ani totally spoke to me).
Which is not to say that I dont still have a ton of respect for Ani, I think she's done wonders for maintaining awareness about feminist issues, and I even wrote a paper about her in college (yes, I was that lesbian), but she's not on my daily shuffle. And yet, there's nothing I listen to more than "anyday" and "she says" when I'm upset - and I've got the iTunes times-played counter thingy to prove it.

I dont really like making the association between favorite/comfort objects and sadness, but in writing this, I've realized that's exactly what I've done. Although, I think that maybe I just notice it more when I am sad, because when things are going good, they're a given. In any case, whether or not it comes off as shallow, I am happy to continue taking comfort in objects :)