using my voice

Dear Mom and Dad,

You know that talking politics isn't something I normally do (I leave that to Kristi), despite very much being the independent and opinionated woman you raised me to be. I think someone’s politics are and should be deeply personal, and believe that as long as you are informed (Mom, this is why I took issue with you saying that you weren’t sure if you would vote for Barak Obama because you were worried about terrorism – this is not an informed concern, it is a conservative scare tactic.) (Dad, if that just upset you, it shouldn’t. My point is that I have no problem if you lean right fiscally or socially, and vote accordingly, as long as your reasons for doing so are legitimate – I would hope you would say the same thing about me leaning left), your vote should be based on the things you care about. This is why I am writing, to mention something that is deeply personal to me, that I care about and I would hope as my parents you would too.

You also know that I tend not to talk about my sexuality to either of you, as I acknowledge there is still some discomfort there on both your parts (which is not to say I am not thankful for the gains in acceptance you have made). But when my sexuality (inappropriately) is a political issue, I do feel compelled to at least make my voice heard to those who surround me. I personally do not think same-sex marriage should even BE a political issue, especially one that gains as much attention as it does. Further, I’m hesitant about marriage as an institution in general, it is founded upon archaic notions of ownership of women, and it has devolved to practical near-meaninglessness at this point, given the divorce rates. But working within the system I’m presented with, being legally married confers more than 1,400 legal rights to a couple.

If I find someone I deem important and worthy enough to share my life with me, that person will be a woman. Will that make my love for and the relationship with that person any different than that which Jen and Billy or Jill and Laif just celebrated? I can confidently say that it won’t in my heart. But my being able to have that celebration for myself is under question, with a possibility of being banned, simply because of who I love.

My presidential vote will not be made on the basis of my opinion on same-sex marriage (although I do find it deeply troubling that Sarah Palin supports a Federal Marriage Amendment), and I don’t think yours should be either. But Connecticut’s Question 1 is very much about same-sex marriage. Connecticut recently legalized same-sex marriage. Yet, spearheaded by The Family Institute of CT, Question 1 seeks to hold a constitutional convention which, among other things, would have intent to overturn the courts decision. There are several steps in the process before the public would actually get to vote on whether to take away same-sex marriage rights in CT, but voting No to Question 1 would help to ensure that this wasn’t even an issue. I am not sure whether/how you plan to vote on this, but I implore you to vote No on Question 1. I would also ask that you encourage others to do the same. You raised me to treat others with kindness, and be accepting of everyone (maybe even more so than you intended!); please extend the same acceptance to me and the wonderful men and women like me who simply want to love and acknowledge their partners. Please vote No to Question 1.

Forever yours,
Becky